Site Meter

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Bigotry kills

This is why it isn't enough to just disinterestedly say, "People can do what they want." Even if all love laws were repealed tomorrow, people will keep dying. Until bigotry is subdued, it will never stop. Unfortunately, stories like this rarely get told, because the stigma keeps everyone involved silent. That's why these personal stories are so important.
[My friend's older brothers] played video games with us, we had ice cream fights and treasure hunts, they taught us everything much better than any teacher could have, they read us ‘Harry Potter’ until we fell asleep, made popcorn for us when we wanted to watch a movie, they watched certain Disney movies a thousand times with us, when we wanted to play ‘The Lion King’ they were Timon and Pumbaa and we were Simba and Nala, they soothed us when we were sad or had nightmares. They loved us. And we loved them.
One night [we entered her brothers'] room without knocking and we saw them on the bed, kissing and touching. [...] [They said they loved each other] and that they were a couple. Just like their mum and dad were. And many other people we knew. We understood.
We promised to not tell anyone because they told us that no one except us would understand. We didn’t really get why no one else would understand. They were in love. Why wouldn’t people understand? But we never told anyone.
When it was [my friend]'s 8th birthday her brothers took us out in the fields at midnight, we followed a path with little candles until we reached a telescope they bought for [my friend].
We were watching the stars together nearly the whole night. [Her brothers held each other] close, they were kissing sometimes, gentle and sweet kisses and my friend and I were talking to the stars.
‘Little stars, when we grow up we want to be like [them] because they are so nice and kind and when they marry we want to be their flower [children].’ They giggled when they heard it and [one of them] said ‘We can’t get married, you know.’ and we started pouting because we thought that was not fair.
[...] The next morning we woke up because we heard them scream. Their parents were screaming, too, and we were scared.
Since then there wasn’t a day without them yelling at each other. [Her brothers] talked to us and told us that their parents found out about them. We started crying because we felt like it was the end of the world even though we didn’t exactly know why. 
A week later their dad hit [one of them and the other] just stood there crying the whole time. We were terrified. We didn’t understand what was going on. Their parents made [one of them] go to another school in a different town.
[...] I remember how he hugged us really close and whispered things to us we didn’t understand until now. He told us things about love, about freedom and he said he was sure we would grow up to be beautiful, strong women. He said he loved us.
Then he called [his brother] and let him talk to us, too. He was crying and laughing at the same time. ‘Don’t let anyone get you down. Keep your head up high. Speak your mind. Live your life. I love you, girls.’ That’s what he said to us. After that [he] drove off and we had no idea where he was going. We never saw him again.
In the morning [my friend]’s mother was crying and her dad sat on his chair in silence. ‘We have to talk to you’, they said to [her], ‘God took your brothers home.’ A car crash.
[...]When [my friend] and I were 13 years old they told us that her brothers [really] committed suicide. They felt so guilty. But it was too late for feeling guilty. That’s when I started crying, I let out all the pain, I was screaming and couldn’t breathe and I was asking myself the same questions over and over again.
How can love be wrong? Why is this world so sick? A girl lost her loving brothers because of people who don’t understand what love really is. I lost two of the most amazing boys I ever knew because of people who don’t want to understand what love really is.


  1. This is so fucking sad. I can't even put it into words, I can't even believe this is real. I wish it wasn't real...

    When my mother caught my brother and I, she practically tarred and feathered us. I suffered with self harm and suicide attempts through adolescence, and her hatred for us made all those feelings and urges come back. I would have killed myself if our little sister hadn't called the police to stop me...Brother wasn't as affected as I was, luckily. Around that time we ceased contact with one another, unfortunately. Thank you for the awareness you are spreading. You are doing a lot of good for a lot of people. Maybe someday in the (not so distant) future students will read your name in their history books.

    1. I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I hope that some day you'll be able to repair your relationship with your brother. What motivates me to do what I do is the gut-wrenching tragedy of hate destroying those few things in the world that are truly good. It would be terrible if your mother's bigotry prevented you from even having a familial relationship with someone who you were so close with.

      Thank you for your words. They really mean a lot to me. Some days this is easier than others. Hopefully your prediction will come true and we can all look back on this as an unfortunate phase of human cultural evolution.