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Thursday, January 22, 2015

"I had a romantic/sexual relationship with my sister"

Reddit can be an interesting place:
  • I was 20-21 when [my relationship with my sister] happened, she was 17-18. The bulk of it occurred during the summer after she graduated from high school and I from college.
  • We were physically separated by a messy divorce as young children. We typically only saw each other once or twice a year after that, but kept in contact via phone and eventually e-mail.
  • We don't have any other siblings (or any cousins for that matter, both parents were only children).
  • I think we would both say it was a very positive experience, physically and psychologically. No regrets, more or less.
  • She is not a redditor, but she knows I am writing this and is fine with it. We've never discussed this with anyone else but she is okay with me sharing our experience anonymously.
  • Yes I know how sick and wrong this is and yadda yadda yadda. Please don't flood the thread or my inbox to this effect unless you have an interesting point to make about it that I probably haven't already had nightmares about friends or family saying to me when they find out our "secret."
  • [...] We've discussed our experience with each other in pretty good detail since it happened, so I can probably speak for her some of the time, but not all.
[...] She found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her shortly before the prom. She took it pretty hard...she always had trust issues/fear of male rejection growing up so it wasn't easy for her. I was already planning to visit since it was after my semester ended, so I was like "hey buck up, I'll take you to prom." I was not thinking/hoping we would get sexual at this point.
The evening went fine, I felt like we had exchanged a couple of flirtier-than-normal glances but tried not to think anything of it. Afterwards we went back to mom's house (she had planned to be away on a business trip when she found out I was planning to visit...see what I said above about emotional unavailability). We had a bottle of wine and just had a long conversation about college, parents, ourselves, etc. Just a friendly chat. She starts nodding off so I help her up to bed, then I notice she's crying. So we start talking again and she kind of lets it all out about how awful/ugly/etc. she feels about the boyfriend cheating on her. I tell her he's an ass, don't worry about it, high school is over, etc., and give her a peck on the forehead. She gives me a peck on the forehead back (our usual childhood show of affection), but it's a little bit longer than usual. We're both kind of drunk, so this happens a couple more times and soon enough we're making out. The rest, as they say, is history.
[...] She was a virgin (I was not). The next morning we of course found ourselves naked and cuddled up together, which is kind of a hard thing to just ignore. I woke up first, I kind of jumped which woke her up. I apologized for "what happened," she said she was okay with it and asked if I was okay with it. I said yes, and we ended up having sex again that morning and then a couple more times that day (you know how it is when you first hook up with someone). From then on we were "hooked," so to speak. It was surprisingly unawkward.
[...] During one of our summer visits a few years before this happened, we had one of those "let's practice kissing" nights while she was visiting me and our dad. We were both a little bit excited about it, but not in an overtly sexual way. I did masturbate about that a few times after it happened, but there wasn't a constant, years long fantasy that finally became reality or anything. I kind of felt gross about masturbating to it afterwards, so I wouldn't say I had a serious incest fetish or anything. It was like "yeah, she's hot. I shouldn't be thinking like that though......but she is hot, and I have this boner..."
[...] I think that us not being raised together played a huge part in it.
[...] [I]t eventually ended itself due to circumstance. She was about to start college where I had just graduated, so she subleased my roommate's room during the summer. We had sex a lot (usually multiple times a day) while we lived together, but when I moved away for professional school, that was kind of the end. We've hooked up a couple of times since then, but it hasn't been the same so we both consider it over.
[...] It's been a long time since we had any kind of sexual encounter. We talk about it with each other occasionally still (since there's really no one else we're comfortable talking to about it...), but there hasn't been any "spark" in a while. I don't see us being anything other than typical siblings in the future.
[...] We've agreed not to discuss it with anyone, and I won't betray her confidence. She would probably want to know this hypothetical fiancee pretty well too before agreeing to let her in on it. I would like to be able to tell someone else, but we're both going to have to trust that person enough first. If I decide to marry someone but my sister doesn't want her to know about it, I'm going to respect that. It's complicated.
[...] I do wish there were less of a taboo about it though, I think some people could benefit from there being an open and honest conversation on the matter.

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