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Friday, January 23, 2015

"IAmA Girl who is in an incestuous relationship with my brother, and have been for most of my life"

Courtesy of Reddit:
Well. Most of my life isn't technically accurate. It's been 10 years, I'm 22, he's 24 (turning 25 in a week). In case you're bad at math, that makes the age difference about 3 years. (Just under. My birthday is in november.) We were 12 and 14 our first time. We are full siblings (step siblings isn't incest, no blood, after all.)
Actually, under many legal regimes, including some American states', step-family and adopted family are "incestuous", and having sex with them can get you thrown in jail.
It started the way it does in all the smutty stories, two siblings left alone in the house, left to their own devices. I think I started it because I asked him about kissing, because he had a girlfriend at the time. We both knew about sex by then, obviously, though neither of us had any yet. As he explained things, my questions became more and more about sex, and eventually it was obvious I wanted a demonstration and we both kinda went for it.
We're not living together yet but we're planning to get a place together as soon as possible. And as far as we know there isn't any precedent in our family history but it's not like we could ask.

[...] [He broke up with his then girlfriend in a t]ypical stupid teenager breakup.
[...] I've been asked out by guys, and been on a date or two but never in a relationship. I just never wanted anyone else. [...] My parents have long suspected (and probably still suspect) that I'm a lesbian. [...] It's almost as bad in their eyes, I'm sure.
[...] Like I said, I've never wanted anything else, this is it. I don't think it could get better than this and if it does, I don't care. I've put him through enough just by the fact that (at least in my opinion) being with me has sabotaged any other relationship he's been in. [...] Even if love is just a psychological construct (mine, or in general), I'm happy this way. Truly happy. And that's all I need.
[...] For a long time it was only a "casual" thing, but I've always loved him, at least for as long as I understood what love was. I let him see other people for as long as I could bear. Pretty recently (December 11th at 8:03 . I don't know why the time is so burnt into my mind, I just remember looking at the clock just before I talked to him.) I finally admitted to him that I loved him and I hated the idea of sharing him with anyone... turns out he feels the same.
[...] I never said I didn't feel sorry for [his girlfriends], but nothing about us is simple, I guess. The selfish part of me says none of those girls deserve him but I know it's still not fair to them. But this is just how it's always been.
[...] [Before we got involved, w]e were kind of typical [siblings], probably more civil than most but we had our fights, but he was always kind and protective in between the odd conflict. [...] [There was never any sexual abuse] in either of [our lives].
[...] The fact that he's my brother is, in terms of my attraction to him, not very relevant. The fact that he's always cared for me is important but if he wasn't my brother but was otherwise the exact same person, I would still love him. Because he's still the same beautiful human being. [...] [S]sometimes we look up some [incest porn] online, but it doesn't really turn me on any more than other porn.
[...] [I've never felt any sexual revulsion towards him]. I've never NOT wanted him. [...] I don't know [what makes us different], to be honest. We were raised in a pretty typical house with both biological parents up until that point with no trauma to fuck with our heads. I've just always loved him.
[...] I don't really want kids, and biological kids are out of the question for obvious reasons. But we are going to be moving in together within the next few months. He has to dump his current girlfriend first.
A lot of consanguinamorous couples hold the same misinformed folk beliefs as everyone else.
I don't know what I would do [if it turned out he didn't want to be with me]. I really just want him to be happy but like anyone I'm also a selfish person and would prefer that he be happy with me. But if it means not being with me, I'd come to accept that, with time, I think.
  1. [...] No, [I'm not worried about people getting suspicious]. To most people the idea of whats going on with us is so taboo and outrageous the thought would never cross their mind. That's kept us safe more than anything.
  2. I don't know that we could carry the secret on [till we're 70,] but I haven't thought that far ahead either. I guess by then we'd be beyond caring what anyone thought.
  3. Yes, [I fantasize about disappearing to a new life with him]. God, that'd be awesome, but probably impractical. But I've often thought of trying to see if we could get fake identities, move somewhere, get married and live like a normal couple.
One of the commenters explains why it does actually work:
I used to live with my sister simply because she was more on to it and had a spare room in her house which was easier than me getting a house haha. Nothing weird about it really.
It's true. There are plenty of people who live with family just to save money, or for convenience; enough so that you can never just call out two siblings living in the same apartment for being consanguinamorous. You'd be as likely right as wrong. There are a lot of consanguinamorous people out there, but no-one "knows" any, because it's so much easier to hide than homosexuality or polyamory.
I can't speak for other people, I guess. This isn't like being gay or even furry or anything like that where it's fairly easy to find support. I don't KNOW what other brother/sister couples are like, or how they live. It's not like there's a community.
[...] Absolutely noone [knows about our relationship] but us. (Except Reddit, I guess.) [...] We're always as careful as possible not to be caught showing any affection beyond the "accepted" if there's a remote possibility of being seen. We usually reserve sex for hotel rooms or when we're alone with absolute certainty. (He shares a place with his soon-to-be ex girlfriend, I live with our parents.)
So far we haven't drawn any suspicion that we can tell, but part of that probably is that it's not something anyone would EVER accuse you of unless they were certain.
[...] I don't know what we're going to do [about people's suspicions]. I can't think of any way we could ever tell our parents. Maybe our friends some day in the future, but not our parents. They're very conservative.
[...] I'd rather die than go with the "safe" alternative of being without him.
And for the final "Duh!" moment, which happens so often...
  • I don't get it, why not just screw someone who is, you know, not your brother?
Because he's the one I love.

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