A Treasured Love Denied Marriage
From Full Marriage Equality:
I have one sibling and that's my half-sister who
I'm in a relationship with. I have a son from a previous relationship;
let's call him Billy Jr. Currently I live in the UK. It's
illegal here to marry or be with any family member including family
members who are married into the family such as step-fathers,
step-mothers, step-sisters, step-brothers.
[...] Growing up, we never met; not once.
I had heard about her from time to time over the years but never
thought anything of it. I never really saw my dad a lot. Couldn't say I
wanted to. [...] He mentioned her a few times but told me because he'd
never been in her life, she never met him once, and that I couldn't get
in contact with her and that was the end of it. He passed away and
somebody told her about it a year on. She looked him up and found out
about me. She contacted me and it went from there. [...] Growing up, I
always wanted a sister and she always wanted an older brother so we were
overjoyed to have found each other.
[...] I
noticed straight away, when she added me on Facebook. The first thing I
thought was "pwoarrrr she's gorgeous" when I looked through her
pictures. At first I thought nothing of it because some brothers have no
problem thinking their sisters are beautiful. It wasn't
until I met her for the first time that I noticed the attraction was
more than any brother should have for his sister. I felt a spark from
the moment I laid my eyes on hers.
When she gave me a
long, emotional hug, nothing ever felt as right as it did in that
moment. I felt safe, protected, loved, every positive feeling possible
in one hug. It's like nothing I ever felt before. The whole time of
being around her, I smiled, my eyes kept catching hers, her eyes kept
catching mine, we had the most sincere unforced smiles on our faces, it
was the first time I ever seen anybody's eyes twinkle for me.
[...] I
kind of noticed it way before we ever did anything, way before we even
kissed. We would cuddle constantly. We thought it was just because we
were close. Well I say that, but I think that was something we said to
mask our deeper feelings for one another.
[...] Our
first kiss was when we were watching a movie and I told her she was
beautiful. I was stroking her hair with her head on my chest. She looked
up at me and I thought "okay here comes twenty [pecking kisses] in a
row." By the time we made it to the tenth peck kiss I noticed her mouth
opened a little and her tongue gradually met mine. From there it
spiraled into pure passion. We stopped to look at each other and say
"this is crazy," "did that just happen?" Neither of us cared either way.
[...] Quite
a few people know about us. They had to know, because we told people
beforehand that we were half-brother and half-sister. Our
grandad on our dad’s side was the first person to encourage me by saying
"I can tell you have a thing for each other, it's obvious. If you ever
find out she feels the same one day, don’t be shy and don't let nobody
tell you it's wrong. If they got a problem, buggar ‘em."
I told my family and they just accepted it. I told three of my closest friends. A joke here and there, but they didn't care. One didn't agree with it from his own beliefs but said so long as I was happy, he'd support me on it.
Her
mother didn't agree with it and is dead set against it even. She
wouldn't even discuss it or hear out an opinion that wasn't hers; just
gave us reasons to feel ashamed.
We don't really
act like a couple unless we are behind closed doors. If we’re in a place
where nobody knows us, it's great. Nobody realizes a thing and we can
act like a couple. Other than that, we had to delete our Facebook
accounts as people were getting suspicious and I just really didn't like
the idea of being on there as brother and sister only. It felt really
heartbreaking knowing we couldn't say we were more, so we prefer to live
our lives in private away from that sort of stuff.
[...] Having
to hide away has just been very exhausting and anxiety producing. We
know we haven't done anything wrong to anybody; we haven't harmed
anybody either, yet we feel like were criminals on the run just waiting
to be caught. Personally, I couldn't care less what people
think about our relationship. If the law didn't have a say in the UK, I
would happily walk around with my head held high. At times there's been a
lot of heartache and tears, mostly because we realize we hit the
ceiling quite a lot with the limits we have. We both have
circumstances that prevent us from living together and living each day
as a happy couple together, mostly due to peoples’ opinions on our
relationship, yet even with all that in mind, it's not something I'd
trade for anything in the world and I'll happily fight whatever comes
our way, even a jail sentence if I have to, just to be with her, because
I couldn't ever be happy being without her.
[...] I had a friend I went to school with. He was in a long-term relationship. I was friends with him all the way through college. He found out his girlfriend of eight years was actually his full-blood sister.
She was a year younger than him and at the time his parents gave her up
through being too young to have two children. She was adopted and knew
nothing about her birth parents or him. When she looked into it, that's
what they found out. Everyone on both sides was against it, wouldn't
hear a thing about it. To please people they broke up but lived a
good few months in nothing but the worst possible agony I could
imagine. It really made me realize why they were so close, even without
ever knowing of their connection to each other. He used to tell me it
felt like an invisible rope pulling him towards her. Eventually
they both caved in and couldn't bear to be without each other ever
again. For most it was weird. For me, it was the sweetest thing I'd ever
seen. It actually made me tear up. They live abroad now and because they have different last names, they managed to get married; credit to them.
[...] One
day I hope to marry my half-sister, or at the very least, live with her
and live a happy care free life where it isn't illegal to love and be
with each other. I feel torn in half when she isn't in my arms. It's a dream at this point in time but hopefully one day it'll be a reality.
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