"My boyfriend is my cousin"

I found a thread on a forum for the girlfriends, spouses, and female family of people in prison. This one blows my mind - not because I find it surprising, but because of how much people’s minds are blown.

I just found out that me & my boyfriend of 4 years are cousins i'm shocked i'm upset i'm sad I don't know what to do i've been having some problems with my roof so I told him that my cousin came out to check it for me he asked me what was my cousins name and I told him my cousins nick name he said that's funny I have a cousin who has that same nick name he said what does he look like and I told him he said how old is he and I told him and he said that's crazy because thats sound just like my cousin so we brushed it off and didn't pay it to much attention

so yesterday his mom called to wish me a happy thanksgiving  so we talked for a while then I asked her if she had a cousin name (BLANK) because I thought my bf was joking around well this time he was serious because she said yeah and i'm like hold up so then I start asking her did she know a couple of my family members she said yes and when I asked her did she know my mom she said yes your mother is my cousin my mouth hit the floor I said let me call you back so I can call my mom

well I called my mom and I told her the situation and I asked her did she know my bf's mother and when i told her my bf's mothers name she said oh my god we are related she said I  never met her children because I haven't seen her in years so at this point my mind is blank I hung up the phone and for the next couple of hours i felt like I was in a daze I don't know what to do he called me this morning and he was sick when i told him everything he is about to come home in a couple of weeks and his home plan is sent to my house we been together for four years but the thought of me sleeping with my cousin is  i don't know what to do I can't believe it

Welp, I understand how it might be shocking, but it’s not a big deal, nor is it so uncommon. They’re not even 1st-cousins; they’re at least 2nd-cousins. Very few places on Earth ban such marriages, let alone criminalize such unions.

People’s reactions, though...

you poor girl!! i don't believe in incest either but if you love the guy it would be really hard to cut those feelings off. i don't even know what advice to give you except to say, i'm so sorry!!!!

Whether anyone “believes” in it, it’s there. It’s already happened (by some people’s definition of “incest”). People need to be reassuring her, not consoling her.

Ok...theres OFFICIALLY nothing that can shock me on here anymore..
Im so sorry this happened to you. I could only imagine it would be hard to just cut it off...I dont know..I just hope it works out for ya!!

Really? This is the most shocking thing they’ve come across? I fear for their future sanity should they come across 1st-cousins kissing.

been there dont that and freaked way out! i went with my cousin 3 yrs before we found out. now we laugh about it.  we ended it when we found out but i can relate to what your going thru!

So she dated a man for 3 years, and after all that finding out they were somewhat related was enough to lead them to end the relationship? God... At least they’re happy and on good terms now. But still! What an overreaction!

I'm sorry for your situations.....it seems like we're all related to someone in one way or another..... Honestly, that's why I date different races...cause there is a greater chance that I'm not related to them.....

That... I don’t even know what to make of that. Are black people who marry other black people more “incestuous” then? To choose one’s partner based on race purely to avoid the small chance you might have sex with a distant cousin? I never truly realized how much some people let the “incest” taboo run their lives.

OMFG. Girl I'm tryna pick my mouth up off the floor....All I can say is girl THAT SUCKS!!! omg. that sucks so bad...Like, how related are you? Blood? 1st cousins?? omg. I'm speechless. I'm soooo sorry b/c girl, that must suck so bad.

I still don’t get why it “sucks”.

WOW!! You poor girl.  That is messed up honey.  The only other thing that comes to mind (sounds crazy) is to determine the blood line in the event you choose to stay together and have a family.  There COULD be issues down the road thru your geneology and yes, it would take a genetic specialist to determine that.  Either way it goes, I wish you the best

I mean, yes, she should, but everyone should see a genetic specialist before having children, ideally. Why is everyone giving their condolences? It’s not like anyone’s died.

I don’t blame people for their reactions here. They’re byproducts of our culture. They’re just trying to be supportive in the only way they know how. I care more about what it says about the kind of distorted thinking our culture teaches us when it comes to consanguinamory - especially for something as benign as 2nd-cousins dating.

Luckily, some people aren’t so ignorant:

I mean it is only "gross" when you grow up with someone as your family member and then say start sleeping with them.  I mean my mothers cousins one raised in Italy one raised here met at ya know 20 years old fell in love and got married.  They didnt know each other as family.  Now I could never think of sleeping with my cousin 3rd or 4th but I grew up with them as family and you shouldnt look at your family that way but...you dont know him and I wouldnt get to upset over it.  I mean I know it may be too late you are upset but try to relax it will all be ok.

I wouldn’t consider that “gross”, but at least she’s somewhat accepting of GSA situations.

It is not incest.  You're second cousins and would be able to marry.  I think it's just first cousins that can't marry.   Don't panic.  I have so many first cousins I don't even keep track of second cousins or "first removed" and all that.

In half the states, 1st cousins can marry, as well as in the vast majority of all countries on Earth. So, even if they were 1st-cousins, it still wouldn’t be “incest” in most cultures, nor would it bar them from marriage.

Her reaction to all of this makes me sad:

Thank you guys for the comments I still can't get my head together I just can't believe it I love him to death i've been waiting a little over 2 years from him to come home and now that it's almost over I get with that wowwwwwwww it's crazy because it's only been a day since I found out but when I talked to him today and he said I love you it was hard for me to say i love you to because I felt like a freak oh my God I just don't know what to do

There’s no natural inhibition for cousins who didn’t grow up together. Cousins of various kinds have never been universally considered off limits. Despite that, society’s crap has gotten so deep in her head that it’s undermining her love for her boyfriend of 4 years, who she’s been diligently waiting for while he’s in prison. To have such a strong relationship so easily and quickly undermined by something so insignificant...

Film: "TABU"

This is a short film produced in Belgium about a GSA romance. It's a nice little short, and the various Freudian visual jokes are on the good side of the endearing/insulting divide. I like that they chose the actors to look vaguely related as well. It's a very sympathetic portrayal, I think. Overall, I give it a thumbs up. (Avec sous-titres français.) (FYI, it has a few shots that are definitely NSFW.)

A Longtime Marriage Denied Equal Treatment Under the Law

From Full Marriage Equality:

I am 65 years old live in the New England area. I am 100% Italian and have some college education. I have one sister and only one son who is 43 now. I live a normal life. Still working in a small doctors office where my life is private. I live with my son. [...] [We’ve been in a relationship for 25 years. My son and I are not married legally, but he] and I said our vows to each other years ago, privately. [...] I have a long-time girlfriend that knows all about my relationship with my son.

[...] [I had] a normal childhood. I grew up in the city in an Italian community. We weren't rich by any means but not poor either. [...] I got divorced when [my son] was three and raised him alone. We were never separated.

[...] [The development] was gradual. We went out one night, and it felt like a date more then anything else. At the end, he said "I feel like I should kiss you." And I said it was OK as long as it was between us. So we kissed. A second night, we went out again. We pulled in our garage and made out in the car.

[...] I was confused I guess at first. I was wondering "Where is this going to go?" Then I got incredibly turned-on and felt guilty. I felt like this going to keep him from living his life. But my mind was filled with thoughts of making love to him. I know I couldn't stop them. So we had a long talk. I wanted to make sure this is what we both really wanted. He kept saying over and over he did. My mind was still spinning. He reached out and felt my breasts and I just gave in to it. I asked him into my bedroom and he never left. [laughs]

[...] We live as a married couple but worked on keeping on the mother/son part too. The two roles are inseparable. I am his mother and his wife. He is my best friend, my husband in every way but legally, my lover and he happens to be my son too. I know he feels the same about me.

[...] [The only other person I have sex with is] with my long-time girlfriend mostly now. When I was younger we did go to a few swingers clubs. The ones we told were all fine with it. We also had sex in front of another mom and son couple we know. [...] It is by far the best sex ever. Even after 25 years! We still make love as a mother and son. It feels as natural as anything in the world.

[...] I had to tell my sister. We had many many talks, and it took a long time, but she has come to accept it. A small group of friends know, but mostly we appear as a married couple. [...] I was older, so that played into [our lack of children]. I was pregnant a few times but never could carry the pregnancy.

[...] I have helped and encouraged others over the years. People are starting to realize how wonderful it can be. How can anyone tell me or try to make me think this is wrong? It's not. What two consenting adults do is their business. We are lucky. We live in a state where its not illegal. We just can't get married and I hope that gets changed someday, too. [...] I think as this gets more and more out in the open and commonplace, people ideas will change and it will be accepted. Maybe not be in my lifetime but, I believe it will one day.

[...] People ask me how we lasted so long. It's like any other relationship. You have to work at it. Communication is especially important. I see so many think it's just about sex. There is so much more to it.

"Brother sleeps with sister, gets her pregnant"

Another case out of southeastern Africa:

In Malawi, two siblings, Zione Jere, 17 and Nelson Jere, 21, have been detained for engaging in incest, Mzimba Police PRO, Constable Gabriel Chiona confirms. “Yes I can confirm that we have arrested the two, who are brother and sister on suspicion that they committed incest,” Chiona was quoted as saying.

Chiona further said the father of the two siblings received a report that his daughter is pregnant, and when questioned about the man responsible, 17 year old Zione identified her brother as the father. “The victim was referred to Mzimba district hospital where test results revealed that Zione was 16 weeks pregnant,” Chiona said.

The two suspects will appear in court soon to answer charges of incest contrary to section 157 of penal code which attracts a maximum sentence of 5 years imprisonment with hard labor. The two hail from Bekhandnhale Village Traditional Authority (T/A) Mzukuzuk in Mzimba district.

Notice how he calls her “the victim”, yet they’re both going to court as “suspects”? They’re both above the age of consent in Malawi, so they’re both culpable unless he raped her.

Documentary: "Brothers and Sisters in Love"

During the mid-to-late ‘00s there were a bunch of documentaries made about genetic sexual attraction, motivated by the high profile arrests and court cases at the time. I recently found Brothers and Sisters in Love. (It wasn’t easy.) It was apparently made in response to that other British documentary on GSA, which was generally sympathetic to the couples, and seemed to argue for some kind of social acceptance.

This documentary takes a much more complicated (and sour) tone. It has the sympathy one might have for the victim of a car crash. Of course in many cases the feelings are unrequited, and sometimes it’s best to pursue a platonic relationship, but that is not the case for everyone. Not everyone can just move on. Yes, it can be very complex, but this documentary actually supports (maybe inadvertently) that most of what makes GSA relationships complicated is how other people react. I can’t help but feel that this documentary is trying to impose a one-size-fits-all view of GSA, that it’s tragic but that everyone should abstain.

Despite all of that though, the documentary is full of great moments in support of accepting GSA couples. They couldn’t avoid the power of real people defiantly standing up for themselves. (I’m sure they realized it makes for a more compelling documentary as well.)

The self-confidence of the woman in this clip makes me smile so much.


There’s also the lawyer of the Stuebing siblings. I really wish he’d succeeded in his case. At least it started a conversation.



Then there's this great illustration of why I even use the word “consanguinamory”.


One thing I do appreciate about the documentary though, is the argument it seems to be making that it can only help if society has a better, more sympathetic understanding of GSA. Some of their choices are weird, though. Despite being about sibling couples, they quickly throw one mother-son couple in, a couple who were traumatized by the sudden extreme psychological dissonance brought about by the conflict between their disgust at the idea of “incest” and their overwhelming desire to commit “incest”. Having only one interview like that sends a weird message. I know for a fact that it’s not representative.



Anyway. Watch it in full for yourself and decide what you think. Despite my dislike of its editorial attitude, I think it’s possibly the best documentary on GSA out there. (Then again, there isn’t much competition.)

An Aunt and Nephew Denied the Freedom to Marry

Another interview from Full Marriage Equality:

I am currently a senior in college about to graduate. I attend school and reside in a nice apartment in a major city in the northeastern U.S. My ethnic background is white, being half Italian and half Jewish. [...] I come from a middle-class family consisting of my dad, mom and a younger brother. [...] I currently reside with my aunt. I had to move in with her when I was 18, since she lives really close to the college I attend and this allowed me to avoid expensive dorm fees. It is currently just us two, since she is divorced and has no children.

[...] My family life was pretty standard. My parents worked a lot and were always away on business trips. They provided a good life for me and my brother. I had a pretty average childhood. I attended school and hung out with my friends, participated in sports, received good grades. My aunt lived three hours away and visited very sporadically, mainly only seeing her on birthdays and holidays. [...] Yes I am in a sexual relationship with my aunt, who is my mom’s sister. My aunt is 41 years old and I am 22 years old.

[...] I had a pretty good relationship with my aunt growing up. She was my mom’s only sister and every time she visited she would bring gifts. She wouldn’t visit often since she lived three hours away, but every time she did, it was a positive experience. We didn’t have much contact with other people from our mom’s side of the family except for our grandparents so it was always nice to see her.

[...] I did have a slight sexual attraction to my mother while going through puberty, I always thought she was very attractive and started seeing her in a sexual way. I also had a sexual attraction to my aunt, she was also very attractive and resembled my mom a lot, and I definitely saw her in a sexual way. I believe that my younger brother might also have had some sort of sexual attraction to my aunt, as I’d catch him staring intensely at her in the same way that I did. However, we never really discussed any of it.

[...] I would say it was more of a gradual process rather than a sudden event. I didn’t know for sure that it was going to happen but I guess she had dropped some hints. She kept telling me about her divorce and how hard it was for her to date, and listing great qualities about me and how that would make any girl very lucky to have me. The more we talked, the more she would reveal and the closer the bond we would form, which also happened physically as she was always getting closer to me. For example, she’d put her legs on my lap or head on my shoulders or chest.

This eventually led to her confiding in me that she found me sexually attractive. I was very surprised and instantly shot back that I was also sexually attracted to her, and has been since I was a teenager. After a very long talk we ended embraced in each other’s arms. [...] I was very excited. but also felt a bit strange since I had never experienced anything like it before. I had been with other girls before, but nothing could compare to the way me and my aunt made love that night. I was feeling a range of emotions, from happy to excited to aroused, but I mostly remember feeling like I was on top of the world.

[...] I didn’t think it was possible for me since I never thought my aunt would ever feel that way about me. [...] I never had a problem with people from their own family having sexual relations. I think as long as both parties are consenting it’s all good. [...] Our relationship right now is that of a girlfriend-boyfriend. We don’t see other people. We go out on dates, we sleep in the same bed, we text each other throughout the day. We have been together for almost four years now and live together. We see each other as both family and lovers.

[...] Nobody in our family knows the full nature of our relationship. We are sometimes able to act as couple in public since we do live in a very dense and populated city so many people don’t think twice to seeing an older woman with a younger guy, but we never say we are aunt/nephew; we usually introduce each other as significant others. [...] I guess the biggest disadvantage is not being able to be fully transparent and be considered a normal couple. Not being able to marry is also a huge disadvantage. The advantages are that you get to share something beautiful with someone you have known for most of your life and have a huge bond with who you might never find outside of your family. [...] You are free to believe what you want but don’t discriminate against others or tell them what they are doing is wrong. I am perfectly happy in my relationship and would not want to be with anyone else. [...] I am graduating soon and hope to get a good job out of college so that I can afford to move us to a nicer apartment and continue our lives together.

The Poet Byron, His Half-Sister Augusta, And Their Daughter

Portrait of George Gordon, Baron of Byron

At the age of twenty-five, the poet Byron entered what has been described as a torrid affair with his half-sister Augusta Leigh. Those who saw them together were struck by their resemblance. They met for the first time in 1801, when Byron was fourteen and Augusta seventeen.

- Mark T. Erickson, Inbreeding, Incest, and the Incest Taboo

Portrait of Augusta Leigh

Augusta’s half-brother, George Gordon, Lord Byron, didn’t meet her until he went to Harrow School and even then only very rarely. From 1804 onwards, however, she wrote to him regularly and became his confidante especially in his quarrels with his mother. Their correspondence ceased for two years after Byron had gone abroad, and was not resumed until she sent him a letter expressing her sympathy on the death of his mother, Catherine.

Not having been brought up together they were almost like strangers to each other. But they got on well together and appear to have fallen in love with each other. When Byron’s marriage collapsed and he sailed away from England never to return, rumours of incest, a very serious and scandalous offence, were rife. Some say it was because of his fear of prosecution that Byron abandoned his country.

There is some evidence to support the incest accusation. The Honourable Augusta Leigh’s third daughter, born in spring of 1814, was christened Elizabeth Medora Leigh. A few days after the birth, Byron went to his sister’s house Swynford Paddocks, Six Mile Bottom, Cambridgeshire, to see the child, and wrote, in a letter to Lady Melbourne, his confidante: [“Oh! but it is ‘worth while’ — I can’t tell you why — and it is not an Ape and if it is — that must be my fault.”] (a child of an incestuous relationship was thought likely to be deformed).

“Medora” is the name of one of the heroines in Byron’s poem The Corsair, which was written at Newstead Abbey during the three weeks in January 1814 when the poet and a pregnant Augusta were snowbound there together.

 - Wikipedia, Augusta Leigh

Byron died at the age of 36 from a medical infection, while assisting the Greeks in their war for independence. It was 4 days after Elizabeth’s 10th birthday. 

Portrait of a young Elizabeth Medora Leigh

Likely to maintain appearances, especially for Augusta, Byron married Annabella Milbanke. He had one child by her - a daughter, his only legitimate child. She was born one year after Elizabeth. He named her Augusta Ada. She later became Ada, countess of Lovelace, mathematician and arguably the world’s first programmer. Ada and her mother helped support Elizabeth, and her mother told her that Elizabeth was her half-sister.

Portrait of Augusta Ada, Countess of Lovelace

While Byron was in exile in France, he wrote several poems to Augusta, and she visited him from time to time with their daughter.

- Lord Byron, Stanzas to Augusta

The BBC made an excellent miniseries on the life of Lord Byron. It’s definitely worth watching. Their depiction of his relationship with Augusta is very moving. (As a side note, if he lived today, Lord Byron would probably identify as polyamorous. He was famous for having many lovers, male and female, and was known for not wanting to settle down. Part of this, as they depict in the miniseries, was because he couldn't settle down with Ada, but the rest of it was definitely constitutional.)

Queer Poly People Have to Come Out Twice

This woman makes an excellent point about the intersection of polyamory with other non-normative sexual identities:

Sharing something so important to you, knowing that they may not understand or accept it, can be scary. When I first read “The Ethical Slut” at age twenty, my mind was blown. I was psyched to be made aware of this possibility, that I wasn’t terrible for wanting to date more than one person at a time. I was electric when I called a good friend from high school to tell her about it. Though skeptical, she agreed to give it a read, so I popped it in the mail and anxiously awaited her response.

A few days later, she called and I immediately could tell she was agitated. She’d only gotten a few pages in and refused to continue. The very concept angered and upset her. She took it as an excuse for people to cheat, despite my protestation that it, instead, fosters intense honestly between partners. While she accepted my exploring this path, she wanted nothing to do with it. She asked me never to mention it to her again, and I didn’t. When I told her I was kinky, however, she was thrilled and wanted to hear all about it. Other friends and family were accepting of the poly, but disgusted by the kinky.

Why do our loved ones sometimes take such an issue with our lifestyles? Well, I believe there are two main reasons. First, they are worried about us. They cannot comprehend it, and worry for our safety and health. More partners can mean more heartache and more exposure to STIs, and kinky relationships can sometimes literally involve pain. Their concern is understandable, but it is our job to help them try to discern what it means to us, and the joy it can bring us.

The second, more difficult reason they can have a tough time accepting our alternative lifestyles is that they are offended by the very idea of it. They may see our polyamory as an affront to their monogamy. Perhaps they fear that if their partner knew of this possibility, they would also want to give it a go. They may find kink in general to be abhorrent, and think something is wrong with you if you like to participate in BDSM. They might see this power exchange as genuinely insane behavior, especially if you are a bottom/sub/slave.

So why come out in the first place? Well, you certainly don’t have to, and choosing to keep these things to yourself is absolutely a valid and legitimate choice. [...] [However,] Aunt Hilda may think anyone who participates in these lifestyles is totally nuts, until she actually knows someone who does. Once there is a human face on it, it’s not just a wacky concept. They can actually see how it works, and how fulfilled it makes you feel.

When all is said and done, it just feels good to come out, to not have to lie or hide these important aspects of your life. The fear of being rejected for doing so is very real, but the lightness of having done it can be wildly gratifying. My seventeen-year-old sister was the last major player in my life to know that I am poly, but our conversation about it was fantastic. She asked a lot of questions, and ultimately responded the same way she did when I told her, several years earlier, that I dated women, “Well, I don’t think that’s for me, but I’m happy you’re happy.”

Dear Prudence gives some disappointing advice...

You can't win 'em all:

Dear Prudence,
My brother and I are having a physical relationship. Our parents are admirable people who took good care of us, but are distant and aloof, and I think that my brother and I turned to each other for warmth and emotional support. He’s two years older and looked out for me in high school, and I shared with him what girls are like, which made him more confident socially. After he went away to college, I chose a college in the same city as his, so we continued to see a lot of each other. I'm now a senior and he's a graduate student. About three months ago we were sitting on my couch watching a sad movie and when it was over we turned to each other, exchanged a look, and started kissing. Now we lie on the bed, clothed, and kiss and talk and hold each other. When I'm with him I feel loved and cared for. We have not had sex because there's a psychological barrier that neither of us wants to cross. I go on dates with other men, but I never feel the emotional connection that I feel with my brother. I needed to talk to someone about this so I went to a counselor at the student health service and in the first session she practically ordered me not to see him for three months. I left in tears and haven't gone back. We want to lead normal lives and have families. We both know intellectually that we shouldn't be doing this, but we don't feel the wrongness of it. Must we stop this immediately, or may we let it continue and hope we grow out of it?

—No Sibling Rivalry

Dear Sibling,
Since you’re both in your 20s, the trend appears to be going the opposite way of outgrowing your closeness. You say you don’t want to cross the ultimate line, but you continue to slow dance to the edge of it. If one day Jack’s resolve breaks, you, Jill, are likely to come tumbling after. You profess you two want normal lives, but if you violate this taboo you may never get there. If you do have an affair, or something pretty close, and you vow to forever keep this secret, you each will spend decades hoping your sibling stays silent. But if one or the other feels this is something a future romantic partner should know, don’t be surprised if upon hearing your confession your new love quickly backs away. I know I more or less gave a pass recently to a pair of middle-aged incestuous gay twins, but they had long ago made a physical and emotional commitment to each other, and were asking me about whether they should let their family know. I think even those two men would advise you two to stop the rubbing and get yourselves disentangled emotionally. Your therapist should have had the training not to be so shocked by your revelation that she ended up barking orders. Go back to the counseling office, say your first therapist was not a good fit, and you’d like to talk to someone else about a pressing emotional issue. A good therapist should be able to hear you out, understand your situation, and help guide you out of it. For a window into how strange things like this can get if they go too far, read Jeffrey Eugenides’ wonderful novel Middlesex.

—Prudie

I don't know why Prudence has all of this faith that there are all of these amazingly sympathetic therapists out there. You really can't train someone to be sympathetic and empathetic. They can learn through life and job experience, but just as I've known some great therapists, I've known some awful ones. (And any therapist can tell you horror stories about their colleagues.) It's an art, not a science. Someone isn't suddenly going to becomes understanding and supportive and wise just because they have a degree. Because of the stigma and lack of knowledge about consanguinamory, most therapists will be more alienating than Prudence on this topic. It's just an unfortunate part of life in the Anglo-Saxon world, one she's failed to acknowledge more than once.

Prudence herself exemplifies this when even she makes crass jokes to those two brothers seeking her help, and when she uses Middlesex as a serious recommendation for understanding consanguinamory. I really hope it was a joke. Middlesex is imitative of Greek tragedy and symbolism, and includes all the distortion one would expect of that. I mean, it posits that the main character's intersexuality is the result of inbreeding, which is medically impossible. Not saying it's a bad book, but it's not the kind of objective non-fiction (or non-judgmental fiction) one should be suggesting to someone seeking help. Even with all of her sympathy, things like that indicate a lack of empathy for consanguinamory. I know that she would never be consanguinamorous herself, and that's fine. I also know that she's the byproduct of our culture. I just wish she was more aware of that - more humble about it. I understand that Prudence wants to give them somewhere to go for further advice, but she needs to realize that the person’s at best going to be no better than she is. (Unless, of course, the therapist turns out to be consanguinamorous themselves, but that's pretty unlikely.)

All that said, I mostly agree with the intention of her advice. If these two siblings really do want to live "normal", separate lives, and aren't willing to confront what it would mean to develop their romantic attraction further, then they need to disentangle themselves. Still, I would have added that while a life as a consanguineous couple will be harder because of society's behavior, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Other people have been in a similar position, made the choice to take the plunge together, and are very happy together. If they want to continue the relationship in full knowledge of what they're doing, they have my permission. If they want to end the relationship in full knowledge of what they're doing, they also have my permission. What I wouldn't want is for them to make a decision based purely on what they think other people expect of them, and not what they themselves want or need.

Life is complicated. People are complicated. The answers are never simple. But sometimes, all people need is permission to be themselves.

More Research on Recessive Genetics

A great find by Full Marriage Equality. I changed the title because the article’s title is oddly misleading.

Members of the Hutterite ethno-religious group are descended from a small group of founding individuals

Most people carry one or two genetic mutations that can cause early death or infertility in their offspring, researchers report in a study published on 8 April in Genetics. That estimate puts humans on a par with animals such as fruit flies and zebrafish, which have smaller genomes. But it is probably a conservative figure, says lead author Ziyue Gao, a geneticist at the University of Chicago in Illinois.

Gao's team examined recessive mutations that cause lethal disease in people who inherit two copies of the flawed gene — one from each parent. People with one copy do not show symptoms, but can pass the mutation on to their children. The researchers' findings account for only mutations that would prevent a person from reproducing in the absence of modern medical care — excluding recessive conditions that do not always result in early death or infertility.

Scientists have tried to estimate the average number of lethal recessive mutations in an average person by comparing the genes of children from unrelated parents to those from parents who are first cousins or other blood relatives. But people who marry relatives tend to differ in other ways from people who do not, making it hard to separate genetic and environmental factors.

To avoid this problem, Gao's team chose to study a US ethno-religious group called the Hutterites. Members of the group have a communal lifestyle, with shared property and equal access to modern medical care. They keep detailed genealogical records and traditionally marry within the group. These characteristics minimize variations in environmental influences that could skew the researchers' analysis, Gao says.

The analysis involved 1,642 Hutterites living in South Dakota. The study group stretches back 13 generations and is descended from just 64 founders. Gao's team used computer simulations to determine the likelihood that a recessive mutation in a founder would show up as a genetic disease in a Hutterite child born after 1950. The team compared this result with the number of present-day Hutterites who have severe genetic diseases to infer that each founder carried about 0.58 recessive lethal mutations.

The team then adjusted this number because research in mice suggests that about half of offspring who inherit recessive lethal diseases die before birth. From this, they concluded that each Hutterite founder carried one or two recessive lethal mutations. The results suggest that, on average, two first-cousins are 1.8% more likely than unrelated parents to produce a child with a serious genetic disease — a relatively small effect, says Gao.

Alan Bittles, a geneticist at the Murdoch University in Perth, Australia, says that the work adds to a growing body of research suggesting that concerns about marriage between relatives are overblown. “It’s one more study that tends to show, and show quite clearly, that our previous ideas of the ill effects of first-cousin marriage have been grossly exaggerated,” he says.

People always seem to misrepresent what Alan Bittles thinks when they reference his work. He’s actually quite humble about his findings and generally supportive of reducing the stigma associated with “inbreeding”. It’s nice to see him actually quoted here.

Overall I really like this study, but I wish they’d extended their analysis beyond just cousin couples. I suppose we’ll have to wait for someone to care enough to bother with a topic like the children of siblings.